1 June – Sunday Times – When Moms Turn Bad
In a Sunday Times article, a panel of experts discussed maternal filicide, noting societal pressures on mothers and arguing that the issue is layered and requires a focus on prevention over punishment.
The piece highlights mental health, socioeconomic issues like social isolation, trauma, inequality, and inadequate healthcare as contributing factors, advocating for understanding over judgment to aid prevention.
Child Protection Specialist Luke Lamprecht and Children’s Rights Activist Miranda Jordan cite a complex mix of social, psychological, and systemic factors that can lead to maternal filicide.
Luke Lamprecht emphasizes the importance of preparation for having children, stating that a crisis pregnancy is a danger.
Miranda Jordan suggests that mothers who harm their children are often narcissists who prioritize their own desires for drugs, alcohol, or partner approval over their child’s safety. When apprehended, their anger stems from accountability rather than the child’s death, challenging idealized views of motherhood.
Societal and systemic pressures
- Idealized view of motherhood: Society often sets unrealistic expectations for mothers, creating immense pressure to be infinitely patient, loving, and capable of handling everything. For many, failing to meet these standards leads to feelings of guilt and shame.
- Gendered double standards: Lamprecht notes that society often excuses fathers for similar failures, blaming external factors like poverty or stress. In contrast, mothers are often demonized and held to an impossible standard of resilience.
- Toxic gender roles: According to Lamprecht, the failure of fathers to take on more household duties has led to “toxic gender-rolling,” which places the primary burden of childcare on mothers.
- Inequality and lack of support: Journalist Moya, who covered the Sunday Times article, argues that the problem is inseparable from South Africa’s broader issues of extreme inequality, widespread trauma, and inadequate mental health care.
- Lack of preparation: Lamprecht emphasizes that having a child without emotional, financial, and relational space for them creates a “crisis pregnancy,” which is inherently dangerous.
Psychological factors
- Narcissism: Activist Miranda Jordan argues that some mothers who harm their children are narcissists who prioritize their own needs and desires above all else. In these cases, their anger after being caught comes from being held accountable, not from the child’s death.
- Mental illness: Severe mental health conditions like postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, or personality disorders are significant risk factors for filicide. However, mental illness is not a factor in the majority of cases.
- Maladaptive coping mechanisms: Some mothers may resort to filicide when they feel overwhelmed and unsupported, often because of interpersonal conflicts or financial difficulties. The psychological pressure becomes too much to tolerate.
- Childhood trauma: Research shows that many mothers who commit filicide had dysfunctional childhoods marked by emotional neglect, familial violence, or social isolation.
Specific situational motives
- Spousal revenge: In some rare and extreme cases, filicide is committed to make a spouse suffer, particularly in cases of infidelity or custody battles.
- Unwanted child: Some mothers may kill a child they perceive as an obstacle to their personal goals or desires.
- Altruistic motives: A mother may kill her child because of a psychotic delusion that it is for the child’s own good, such as a belief they are saving the child from a terrible fate.
Prevention
According to the experts, preventing filicide requires addressing societal issues, increasing mental healthcare access, and providing better support for vulnerable parents. Strategies include expanding family mediation services, fostering community support networks for parents, and equipping parents with coping skills.
